Good day house, please I need your advice here. So I'm a new mum with a 2 month old baby, I absolutely love her to bits, she is everything I have always wanted! I go to her as soon as she cries, we sleep together, breastfeed. I mean I feel I'm doing everything right in regards to nurturing her and a healthy emotional development. BUT, Since she was born I occasionally have these thoughts. They've always been about things happening to her like "What if I fell down the stairs when she was in my arms?" "What if I lost my grip on her on the balcony?" "What if we got into a car crash?" "What if she chokes on spit up in her sleep?" And the most panic inducing one, usually when I'm just drifting off to sleep, "WHAT IF SHE'S NOT BREATHING?!" They're thoughts about terrible things happening to her, not ME doing terrible things to her. This was the first time. Please don't call me a terrible mother or say that I don't deserve my child...Because I already feel disgusted at myself. But here's what happened (and just know I would NEVER EVER do anything to harm her!!!) But so I was pretty sleep deprived and she was just crying and crying and I had tried everything and I was worn out and tired and I just wanted her to stop and be her lovely happy self again, and this thought came unbidden to my mind. I feel sick even as I write this and forming the words are hard but I thought about snapping her neck. So the crying would stop. And I feel like the worst mum ever. I feel I don't deserve her and that I am a terrible disgusting person and I couldn't stop crying when I thought this. This is the first anxious and bad thought I've had in weeks and I guess my question is.... has anyone else ever thought bad thoughts? And does it go away? How do you deal with them? Does this make you a bad person or mother or mean that you would act on them or is this just one of those crazy sleep deprived, exhausted thoughts from some hidden dark area of your mind?!