My husband insults me for the pettiest things. I am a foreigner married to a Nigerian man. I have tried my best to adapt to this country and I must say that I have done quite well. I enjoy working and doing business but I do not really enjoy cleaning the house that's why I have a house help. I cook when I am available to do so, but he keeps telling me I don't know what I am doing that I should leave the kitchen for people who know what they are doing. I am not perfect at cooking Nigerian food but I can cook most of it. I don't always cook my country's food because it can be expensive. I was using a knife that we have been using for 2 years now which he uses to also cut his Indian hemp (which I hate when he does it) well I was cutting onions and it broke, and he started insulting me that I don't know what I am doing that I should leave the kitchen and let people who know what they are doing cook. I took offense because I felt he was angry based on the knife I broke which R wanted to use to cut his Indian hemp. The food which I cooked that day however, he ate 3 rounds of it. At times when he gets very upset with me he tells me to shut up, he gets upset for the smallest things. He doesn't allow me to finish my sentences and starts assuming what I'm about to say and insults me about it. I work with a lot of people and it just so happened that I have a lot of friends that I can ask favors from. We are having a difficult time, and so I do borrow money from some of my friends, both guys and girls. The guys are now tagged as my boyfriends, meanwhile he will even suggest that I borrow money from them. After borrowing the money he'll start saying I'm in a relationship with all these men. During our hardship he doesn't even try to bring in 1 Naira, even with all the girls he speaks to. He tells them he is married to a foreigner, they she isn't always in the country so our relationship is pretty different. In his words "you know how relationships are with whites Na, it's different". Meanwhile I am here everyday with our 3 children. There's a women he speaks to everyday, this lady calls him even at 10pm and messages all day. I keep telling him this isn't right, but he said what about yhe men I speak to. I keep saying I don't spend my day speaking to these people the whole day. They are my friends but we don't chat on Whatsapp all day about every detail of our lives, they don't even call me at nights. They know I'm married. He doesn't listen, he just accuses me that they are my boyfriends. It gets to me, because I do not cheat and I am against anything and anyone cheating. I come from a divorced family. And I don't want it for my kids. Yesterday We ere discussing something and I apparently said something that he said was so stupid and annoying, he tells me I'm not an intelligent person, that when I have sense he will do thanksgiving. Meanwhile he called that girl that he speaks to everyday and she said the same thing as me, and he calmed down. He Was insulting me so much but when he heard from her, he came to tell me that his friend said this and this which was exactly what I said. My reply was so you need to hear from your girlfriend before you know that I made sense. Last night I put my phone to charge, I checked it before I slept and it was charging but when I woke up my phone battery was dead. He started insulting me. Shouting and all that. I just kept quiet. He said I don't care about what goes on in the house and that I don't even know how to manage my house. I hate pointing fingers at who does what but the way he treats me really hurts me. And I have to say that I am ALWAYS the one bringing money for the family. If I leave it to him I swear this family will fall apart but he treats me like a piece of shit, he acts like o don't pull any weight. After I have embarrassed myself borrowing money or even after I have achieved closing a deal or getting a project, do I still need to manage the house and do things like go and buy water and fuel. I buy foodstuff and all that, it's my duty as the woman of the house. But how can someone say I don't know what goes on in my own house when I'm the one going around borrowing and bringing in money for the house. I tried talking to him this morning saying that I don't like the way he speaks to me, he started raising his voice that I should not allow him shout. That I have a terrible character , because I didn't charge my phone and now I'm wasting fuel for the gen. That I should not tell him to talk to me properly, instead I should change my ways. I said it was not my fault that the phone didn't charge. He was like can't you wake up in the night to check it. That I don't ever wake up in the nights to know what goes around me. I said I will wake up if I'm alarmed about something going on around me but I don't just randomly wake up at night. Apparently I'm not intelligent and I'm very dull. I'm in so much pain. It's so hurtful, is this how a husband is supposed to treat his wife? This is not even all the stories I have, because if I go into the rest I will not stop. But I'm human, I deserve respect as a person. I know it's not a Nigerian thing. I see a lot of Nigerian man treating their women right. I am a very caring and loving person but I've become so broken and bitter inside. He speaks to all his friends who are girls with so much respect and care but the woman that stood by him during his hardest time and even left her country to be here he treats like shit. I'm so tired, I don't believe in divorce but he keeps saying he wants to divorce anytime we have a big argument. I don't understand the life I'm living. I can't speak to him or discuss with him without him lashing out at me and insulting me so most times I just keep things to myself. It's okay when he makes mistakes but it's a crime when I make 'mistakes. I'm just so broken.