A reader shared this;

Good day house, I Just thought to share my story with you wonderful women and lighten my heavy heart. Yes. I'm guilty. Yes. I was once what we all now refer to as a 'side chick'. I 'snatched' another woman's husband and stole another woman's joy. It doesn't matter whether she was barren or not. And now, some years and 2 kids later, I have no peace. Indeed, there is no peace for the wicked. This is how it all began, Sometime in 2009, I was studying mass communication in UNILAG and I was in my 2nd year. One day, my friends and I were invited for a bach eve and were all promised 5k as 'TFC' aka 'Thanks for coming'. We were broke so we all eagerly got dressed. We even had a convoy take us straight to the club. We got to the club and the dream of 5k went down the drain as we weren't even offered drinks let alone 5k. So there I was, boiling and wondering who sent me. The Dj was good so we got up to dance. And as I was dancing, somebody just pulled me into the VIP section and asked me to sit beside him. Na so me sef jus pam like baby. He said i should invite just 2 of my friends to come join me that i looked bored. I did and that night went from 0 to 100 in a flash. We had fun, drank and talked. He asked me to come with him and I agreed to the surprise of all my friends. I don fall in love. We ended up at a hotel that night and he didn't touch me at all. He even looked shocked when i undressed to take a shower. I was ecstatic the next day. I couldn't believe men like that still existed. And for the next couple of years my life was beautiful. I wanted for nothing. I didn't care if he was married. I was blinded by all the money and the good life. What did my 20 year old self know? In the second semester of my 4th year, I took in. We were both excited. So excited that I didnt care about school anymore. I just wanted to give the love of my life a baby. He rented an apartment for me and furnished d place. I moved in and never went back to school. I wasnt thinking about the future. I never asked him what plans he had for me. Lord knows my friends tried to talk to me. They really did. All to no avail. I quarreled with them all. Being an orphan, there was also no parental guidance. My father's people rejected us. They said they will never support my marriage to an already married man. "Have the baby and move on with your life!", they said. I turned to my mother's people and they blessed us but he didnt pay bride price o. He said they dont pay bride price for pregnant women in their village. I said ok. First baby came and I felt the joy of motherhood at the age of 21. She had the best of the best. My life was a total bed of roses. I woke up when i wanted, ate what I wanted, drove to wherever I wanted. My oldest brother visited from the U.S. and he advised me to start making plans for my future that this whole thing looks too good to be true. My sisters and some other people kept telling me but I didnt listen. He said he wld set me up when the time is right. Few years and another baby later, I started to see my mates doing exploits and I began to realise that I had wasted my 20s and had achieved nothing. Except for my lovely babies. Did I mention that at some point, the first wife left and second fiddle (I) became first lady. He had no choice but to move in with me. But as soon as I became first lady, another woman took my spot. A slim, light skinned, self acclaimed 'video vixen' came in and I automatically became the NEGLECTED wife. When i complain, he wld laugh and ask that was he not married when I met him? He said if i complain too much he wld marry her and see what i will do. That my legs are burnt (from a gas explosion. Story for another day) and my breasts are sagged. Who would want me? That i should better mind my business as long as he didnt bring her home. Talk about Karma eh?.. That was when i realised that i had made a mistake. If he could betray his first wife, what made me so special? He would sometimes look at me with disgust. He would make fun of my breasts and tummy and ask me to hide them. I always reminded him that it was HIS kids that sucked on them. And I had to go through CS to have them! With time I realised that all he wanted from me were housewife duties. Cook. Clean. Take care of kids. sleep with me. Make more babies. Shut up. Dont ask questions. No friends. No outing except church. He became totally unreachable and insensitive to my needs. He stopped me from having househelp so that i wouldn't have time to think of any other thing apart from house chores. Due to the burning sense of urgency in me, I saved up some money and I began a fabric business. I also enrolled in NOUN and decided to start over. This kept my mind off a lot of the stress at home. I put the fabrics in my car and took them around. The business was moving but my Oga wasnt happy. He would look at my goods with disdain and I had zero support. When the time 4 my first semester exam came, I knew i was in trouble. He stopped giving me money and I was forced to take care of all my personal needs by myself. He only dropped money that was barely enough for food. He eventually seized my car after yet another fight and that was the straw that broke the camel's back. Now no more business to keep me busy. I lost myself completely. I just wanted to have a life and build a career. I wanted to be able to answer confidently when my kids begin to ask what I do for a living. I felt like a trapped lioness. I wept daily. The only place I could go to was the market. Even to to take care of my baby was a great task. Only those who have experienced depression would understand. I admit, I lost control a couple of times. Lost my temper, screamed at him, broke stuff. I'd go out and intentionally come back late just to get his attention. But then I realised all those things were making the situation worse. As the intensity of the beatings increased each time. So I changed my approach. Learnt how to swallow and pretend all was well. I became a very good actress dancing to his rhythm and tending to his every need. But I was dying inside. I carefully planned my exit. I knew I was done. Begged God for mercy and favour. Its never too late to start over. I was pained to my marrows that i couldnt leave with my kids. I had zero naira in my bank account. Where wil I take them? What will they eat? If they fall sick, who wil pay medical bills? I'd rather be labelled as a wicked mother than to intentionally put my children out there on the streets to suffer. I needed my peace and sanity back. So i took a walk and I havent looked back. I miss my girls sorely and I cry everyday for them. The temptation to go back gets stronger each day. People are asking me to go back and stay because of my kids. Im confused sisters. I'm a walking bag of regrets right now. I wish someone would have pulled my ears and showed me what the future would look like.