There are times you might feel something is wrong in your marriage yet you might not be able to pin point exactly what it is. It may be an emotional disconnection from you or your husband. To know if your husband is emotionally unavailable (ED) and how to deal with him read on;
1. Would rather do things alone
if your husband prefers to go out alone and make decisions without including you, he just might be an ED person. He'd rather keep to himself and won't try at all to know you better. Usually if you're married to such a man you'd just be living like house mates 'cause you'd know little or nothing much about what's going on with them. And when you ask, they give you no answer.
2. Shows no emotion
It's common to think men don't show emotion that's not the truth, men are not emotionless. True, men like to hide their feelings but not entirely so if your hubby never shows his emotion, rarely shower you with love and attention that means he has no emotional connection to you. Being a man don't mean you can't show love, right?
3. Never keeps to his word
Emotionally detached men say something and do the opposite and that's because when someone is not emotionally attached to you every thing they say to you, every promise they make is just another statement, they don't see it as a big deal. They can talk but when it comes to actions, forget it.
4. He goes on and off
At the beginning of your relationship, he'd be totally involved in your life, in fact too involved, he'd shower you with attention but as times goes on especially when you are finally his, an emotionally detached person will only show you physical attention (s*x) as per every other form of emotion, he may talk about it but never show it. Such a man will make you insecure and emotionally stressed.
5. Always critical
He finds fault in everything you say or do, he hates the food you cook, the way you dress and never sees anything good in whatever you do. And that's because he's emotionally detached.
6. Neglects responsibility
He'd do nothing to try and make your marriage work and try not to take on responsibility, when he push you off the limit he'll still blame any conflict that arise as a result of it on you. He'll forget he's not perfect and only focus on the number of times you have failed him.
7. Does not contribute to the relationship
He's not emotionally attached to you so he'll do nothing to make your marriage work, he won't initiate conversation and when you start he'll see you as a talkative, he talks about himself and his friends and shows no interest in anything that's important to you, he'll also forget important dates.
8. Lies even when he doesn't have to
If he constantly lies to you without blinking an eye just to prevent you from questioning him it means he has no ounce of respect for you, when he's around you he'll form lover boy but in your absence he'll find a new mate.
9. He builds a wall around himself
Some men aren't confident about their real self, so they build a wall and hide behind it and forbids anyone from pushing the wall down. They don't say anything that may make you think low of them, and if you do anything to bring them low they'd hardly forgive you. It will be hard to break such a man to see the person behind the wall because a lack of connection is what's making them hide even while with you.
10. Knows not how to reciprocate
No matter how much love you shower on him he'd not return it back. So if you're always the one showing love in your marriage, that's not the way it ought to be. Love is give and take, not take take take.
How To Deal With An Emotionally detached husband
Many women find themselves stuck with an emotionally detached man, if your man is 7 of the above he's emotionally detached, do these
1. Identify the reason
If you're sure in your heart that your man loves you but withdrawn for some reason find out what it may be. He may have a weakness, they feel knowing that weakness might make you stop loving them so they'd rather hide it. So they'll show you their tough side, in this case show him you love him and his imperfections.
2. Confront him
You might need to have a talk with him, if he just started it ask him what caused the change of behaviour and tell him how miserable it's making you feel, if he says something harsh, don't react angrily or he'll never tell you anything again. Listen, hold his hand and think of how to handle it.
3. Shift your focus
If after talking to him you see no changes, give him space and time. After thinking things through he'll consider his choice and once he makes his decision, he'd come back to resolve the issue. But do not force him to change, instead do things that make you happy and show him he isn't your source of joy.
4. Don't try to change him
If you think you can change him, you are wrong. find out his reason for being detached and try to ignore it or get used to it. if you try to change him, he'll hate you and make the wall stronger. A better strategy is to stop talking or acting negatively and focus on remembering the moments when you connected emotionally and talk positively about them.
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