Dear Sister Battling Infertility

Dear sister, I've been where you are so I know what you're going through. I didn't have the courage to write this even after giving birth to my baby it still feels like a dream but now it's real and I know he's here to stay, I thought I'd share my story to encourage you. I battled infertility for 7 years during which time I never was pregnant for once and I was starting to think it was my fate not to have children in life but then fate smiled on me and changed my story.

Most people don't understand what you're going through and you might be at that stage where you dread family meetings and being around your husband's family is just too uncomfortable.

I do understand how you feel though, I understand the hopes and the betrayals, the moment when you see pregnancy symptoms and you hope and pray that you have taken in but then you do the test and you see that one line that announces that once again your body has failed you.

I remember how I dreaded pregnancy announcement in my husband's family and mine and how I would be scared of going to the ceremony for fear of meeting people that'll say "what are you still waiting for? See the wife of your husband's brother she hasn't even used up to 2 years in our family" how do you respond to that direct reproach?

I understand that it's not your wish to come into this world and not have children of your own but I wish they would too. This burden of infertility is a little more easier to carry when people around you support and understand what you're going through but how do you make them see when they haven't ever been in your shoes?

You don't hate pregnancy announcements like people think, it's just they are a reminder of your own heartache. Because I've been where you are I'd understand enough not to brag about my pregnancy or make it known on Facebook as someone passing through this phase might be amongst my friends I don't want them sad because of me.

 

I understand why you wouldn't want to follow your pregnant friend on her baby shopping spree, a look at those cute baby things will bring hot tears into your eyes. I did and I regretted it, I started crying and I felt bad for ruining my friend's day. A thought came into my mind "Why can't this be me?" And I cried uncontrollably.

I also understand how innocently said statements like "it will be your turn" said by a new mom can be annoying even though her intention was to cheer you up if I were her I'd just hug you and tell you "I love you anyway"

And if you are found drinking and crying into your pillow late into the night I'd understand but I'd advise you don't, the heavier your heart is, the harder it is to live dear sister.

You are indeed brave sister, a woman who grieves silently in grace and dignity and who fights her battle potently,  and when you should have given up, you keep fighting. It goes to show how strong you are.

I'm finally out of your group but I'll be there when you need me, I'll send my prayers to heaven on your behalf, and when you're least expecting it your miracle baby will come by, trust me I know.

I'll pray for you, cheer you and patiently wait for your day of joy, why? For in sisterhood we stand!