When old parents hear about the birth of a new born baby, they are always so overjoyed. Text messages thanking God for both the baby and mother's well being and congratulatory messages will be sent to the parents of the new born, on Facebook we post "so cute" "how adorable" and when the time finally arises we visit the baby with gifts.

It's a very good thing to celebrate the birth of a new life, yes, but people totally forget that when a child is born, the mother is too has been rebirthed. People tend to buy gifts such as clothes, shoes, socks and other baby things while forgetting that the mother also needs care.

I'm not going against the act of buying gifts for the new born, but even if you do buy gift(s), remember to do these things for the mother.

1. Bring food

If you are a close friend or relative of the new mother, endeavour to plan and prepare meals which you will take with you when visiting the new parents. The new parents might not have the energy or power to make meals, shop for things they need. So if you really care, feed and nourish her with your food.

2. Support her baby-feeding choices 

If she wants to breastfeed her baby, allow her, it is not your duty to complain about the baby's weight gain. Also unless she requests for some privacy, don't bother to leave the room for her when she wants to breastfeed her baby.

You can bring her a glass of water when she's nursing, since nursing mums are always very thirsty. And if her choice is formula, know that she knows what is best for herself and her child.  But if she later decides to formula feed and stop breastfeeding, so be it. Know that she would do what she thinks is best for her family. Do not ask why she stopped breastfeeding, neither should you lecture her with the hope of convincing her. Leave her be, and there's no cause for alarm for there are safe, nutritious formulas out there.

3. Pick up what she needs

When you visit a supermarket, pharmacy or fast food store, give her a call I'm at..... What would you like me to get for you here?" It's a small favour in your mind, but to her, it's huge.

4. Take out the kids

If she already has a child or 2 take them out, you can invite them to play with your kids or take them to watch soccer or a movie.  It would be a big relief for her to be able to concentrate on taking care of the new born without having to look out for the older ones.  

5. Listen to her

New mothers have fears, and when you are with her get her to talk to you about her worries and fears. Don't assume that she is finding motherhood easy and has fallen in love with it. If she's having signs of baby blues, you should be able to help her with that, but if you suspect she's having post-natal depression, talk to her and make her see reasons why she has to see a doctor. If you have struggled with motherhood issues like that before, use your experience to talk to her so that she won't feel lonely and lost.

Even though it will get to a point where she has to resume work or her duties as a wife, she still needs the support of other mothers, and it's not because she can't handle it alone but because she deserves care and recognition for what she has gone through while pregnant and what she'll still go through in the coming post-natal days.

The cute doll you buy will not keep the baby asleep at night, the mother doesn't need another cute clothes because it won't make things get better. What she needs is her fellow women's support, care, practical help, time to rest and recover and understanding.  She especially needs food, to nourish her back to health.

What do you think? Are we right?