My husband and I have been married for 1 year but dated for 9 years. We met at university and were in a relationship for a very long time. Once I had graduated for uni and finished NYSC I was waiting for him to propose to me but he never did.
He said he did not want to get married until he had met a few of his life goals, completed his Master’s degree and attained managerial level. So I waited for him to accomplish all these things. 8 years passed and everyone including my mother was putting pressure on me. By my 29th birthday he took me to a nice restaurant, so I expected a proposal but it didnt happen. I was very dissapointed so I asked him why he wasnt ready to marry me. That is when he now said he was afraid of getting married because nearly everyone he knew e.g. parents, relatives, friends were trapped in bad marriages and in many cases, the women changed after getting married.
I told him that it was time for himto decide after dating me for almost 9 years, either he propose or that we break our relationship and I gave him one month to think about it. In that time, I started working on plan B, I started going on dates with other guys just to make sure all my eggs were not in one basket. He saw me on a date, I went to watch a movie with this guy that is when it finally dawned on him that I was 100% serious. He apologized and said he couldn’t live without me and he was ready to get married. We went out the same day and picked a ring, told our friends and families that we were engaged.
We got married a year later we are happy and he is a good husband. We are hoping to have a baby soon. Now my problem is that I am bitter. My friends are getting engaged and married and my facebook is full of romantic, happy engagement stories and photos. I was at a bridal shower of recent and the girls sat around discussing their proposal stories and I realized that I was the only one whose proposal came because I put pressure on him.  I am resentful that I didn’t get a beautiful, memorable proposal like my friends. I am angry that I had to break up with my husband to get the ring. My marriage is happy and I have no complaints, but I don’t know why this upsets me so much. How do I know that my husband is not resenting me for pushing him to get married?

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