Hubby and I have been together for 8 years in total, but married for 3 years. We met when I was 18, got married when I was 23. Over the past few months I've come to realize that I don't love him anymore and I just don't know how to tell him. Our relationship has been growing very stale for probably about a year now when I look back, I just didn't see it then. The sx stopped about a year and a half ago (I know that passion fades, but please bear in mind that I'm only 26!) until earlier this year. We decided to TTC, which at the time was what I thought I wanted. He's always been so desperate to be a dad and all our friends are having babies so I thought that I wanted the same. As soon as we started trying, he became obsessed, but not in the "let's do it all the time" way. He would get angry when I got my period, or when my cycles were too long and I didn't ovulate. I told him that the pressure was too much and that he was making me feel like I was barren and sometime after all this I started to realize that I'm not ready to be a mother yet. He thinks that because kids are his only priority, that they should be mine too, he won't entertain the thought of me going back to school and doing my Masters, whenever I mention that I'd like to go back to school to study, I feel like he expects me to give up my life and my passions to be a parent and I just can't live like that. I think I agreed to TTC because deep down I knew something was missing from the marriage and I thought a baby would help. There's no affection or attraction between us. He doesn't try to initiate sx and I don't want him to anymore. The thought of sleeping with him doesn't appeal to me anymore. We don't really argue, most of the time we get along just fine (like best friends really), but I have noticed that he has become very short tempered. I'm guessing that he's noticing the distance between us and doesn't want to confront me about it directly. He also seems to resent me for having my own life and goals- I don't have much of a social life outside the relationship but have recently been making more of an effort to stay in touch with friends and make plans to see them, and whenever I do this he complains! I also study part time alongside my full time job, and I occasionally have to travel for exams which he also complains about. He makes me feel guilty whenever I do anything for myself! My husband isn't a bad man, he's funny and kind hearted and decent. But I feel like I live with a friend, not a hubby. And I know he deserves to be happy, and that kids are an absolute must for him so I know it's selfish of me to deny him that by staying with him. We need to have a conversation about this but I'm so scared of how it will go that I can't find the courage to do it! I know in my heart that I want to separate from him. Please how do I go about this? Note that I am not cheating on him nor do I intend to do so.
Comments
Comments