Things to Remember Before Having Another Baby

I’ve always known that parenting can be a hard nut to crack. But never for once did I envisage it will be this tough. We see parents every day so we always assume it’s an easy task.

I’m tired and I’m sure my wife is even more tired, and if there’s a word that can be used to qualify tired besides exhausted I’d like to say that’s how we feel right now.

Add stress to sleeplessness caused by having to wake up every minute to attend to our new-born who is never asleep for more than 30 minutes, you have the highest level of tiredness.

If my wife had told me before we had kids I’m sure I would have accused her of cooking up a super-story for poor me, or maybe she didn’t want us to have a baby. But she didn’t, so here I am, having a first-hand knowledge of what it’s like to be a parent.
And you would think I would tell my wife that one is enough, right? But it’s weird that despite knowing that having babies bring sleepless nights, I still want more babies.

And last night when my wife asked me “Can we do it again” I ecstatically answered “Yes!” And we did it. After “doing it” I asked myself “what did we do? What did she mean by “do it?” Sex or another baby? I moaned when I realised that either way, she could get pregnant since we didn’t use protection. Another baby? I’m in trouble! I thought to myself.

I didn’t believe that we could still talk about having another baby when we are barely managing to sleep for 5 hours. How could we ignore all the reasons why we should avoid having babies for now?

Then it came to my head and here they are; things to remember before having another baby

  • Your baby doesn’t care if it’s a working day and you need to get up early so you can make breakfast. You still have to wake up to breastfeed them at 1 am, 4 am and 6 am. What’s my own? When baby wakes, my wife wakes me.
  • Baby doesn’t care if it’s weekend, and that you haven’t had a good night’s sleep in months or you have a business presentation at the office. As far as they are concerned, every day is the same and you have to fulfill your obligation towards them.
  • Neither does baby care if you have some readings to do for your presentation, or you have to watch some videos on Youtube (na you sabi). Baby has to get what he wants or …
  • The more children you have, the more years you have before you can afford to buy a two-door vehicle.
  • The pain in your back and neck when you wake up at 4:30 am after you slept off in a chair while patting your child to sleep.
  • For many women, breastfeeding is like giving a graphics designing job to an illiterate without full instructions on how to use the laptop. Then there’s a kid screaming and distracting, making everything impossible altogether.
  • The loud piercing cry of your tired/hungry baby whom you left sleeping in a car to get a drink in the shopping mall. Then you have to run like an athlete to go attend to your screaming baby.
  • Of course, they sleep. But at the wrong times. They sleep by 7 pm and wake up 9 pm when you are just about to sleep, they wake up from their morning sleep at 7 am when you want to get busy and prepare for the day.
  • Listening to your neighbours talk about going to the cinema and hating them. For you have to be at home and take care of your baby.
  • That moment in time when you are all dressed for work and suddenly, you carried your baby to kiss him goodbye and his response was to piss on your face and body so you have to change your clothes.

I’m sure the list is longer than this, but these are a few of what we’ve experience. But despite all this hardcore evidence that babies are tough work why do people still bother to have more kids? Why do my wife and I still want to have more kids?

I found the answer to this too. These are the things to remember before having another child

  • When they fall asleep in your arms.
  • The peaceful and sweet look on their face when they are asleep in your arms.
  • The way they hold on to your finger when you’re feeding them.
  • When they finish feeding, look at you contentedly and burp.
  • Their first smile, the first time they call you “Mama”, The first time they laugh, giggle, crawl, stand and take their first step.
  • When you are ready for work one morning and they say “Dada, bye” giving you a kiss on the head.
  • When they cling on to you tight as if they are only safe with you.
  • When you look around you and you see your whole world is not just bigger, but better.
  • Now that you are a dad or mom, you see the whole world in a new perspective.
  • When you cry and they use their little small hand to clean your tears, then burst into tears themselves.

Truth is, a rational reason is not enough to stop one from having more babies. Babies can be a lot of trouble, but they are sweet as well. Your strong excuses are defeated by a sweet smile, a giggle and a cuddle, then your heart melts.

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