Kids are inquisitive beings, and everything you say and do in front of kids are quickly soaked up by them including the good and the bad.
I know this because as an adult I still use some of my mother’s words, even now, after I’m no longer with her. And don’t be surprised if your toddler who is just learning to talk, starts with a common word you’ve been using, or that his older sibling usually use. Meaning, no matter how young they are what you say and do in front kids is important. To make a good impression on your child these are some of the things parents should do in front of kids;
1. Be honest
Kids have a way of knowing when something is wrong, so don’t lie to them. If you are going through financial crisis or there’s a death in your family and they ask you, honestly answer them. Explain things to them in their language so they’d understand, and show your emotions in front of them. After which you can then calm their fear and tell them “things will be okay”. But if you keep protecting them from the truth and they eventually find out, they’d think it’s normal to lie, and that might never change about them. Also do not lie in front of them or use them to lie. They might look at you questioningly like “why lie?” and if they don’t get an answer they won’t bother you, but what do you know? you are being a bad model.
2. Be Affectionate to your husband and kids
Some women have complained that they have a husband that doesn’t show his emotions, what they don’t know is that he probably grew up in a home where the parents never show their emotions. And it’s the truth that some of us are more affectionate than others. But no matter how small, it is important that your kids see their parents displaying physical forms of affection such as flirting, hug, kiss so that they will be able to picture what a healthy relationship should be like when they have come of age. What parents who openly show their affections to their spouse are teaching the children is that loving physical touch is one of the key ingredients of a relationship.
3. Come out clean
Issues that dwells on sex, death, divorce, and money are always a hard knot for parents to crack, they find they don’t have the right words to explain it to children, so they avoid such topics. But the truth is you can be real when talking to your children without having to lie to them. I’m sure if your 5 year old kid walks in and finds you and your spouse doing the “do”, the first thing that’d come to your mouth is a lie. “Aw! mummy and I were just wrestling with each other” that’s a perfect lie right?” Well what about you see it as an opportunity to talk to your child what it is? telling him/her that it should only be done between “real” husbands and wives. For if your child goes out one day and start “wrestling” with his/her mate you will have yourself to blame for not coming out clean when you should have.
4. Be helpful to your spouse
Most Nigerian men believe house chores should be left to their wives alone, and unknown to you you are breeding a son that wouldn’t see his wife as his partner and helper because that’s the example you showed him. Try and do things together with your spouse, help each other in front of kids so that you can teach your children that helping each other out, sharing tasks and daily activities are other ways of showing love. By cleaning your husband’s car while he’s giving the children a bathe you are showing them that a particular task is not peculiar to a gender. You are also teaching them to be meek and humble.
5. Allow for disagreement in front of the kids
True, children get scared when their parents are arguing, but not when there is no screaming involved. It’s allowed for families to disagree about what to eat, how to handle a situation, when to go out and where to go. These are one of the things that helps children build a sense of knowing what they want, so allow for positive argument and compromise. Encourage them to have constructive arguments with their friends too, this will build their communicative skill.
7. Apologise
Apologising is by far the cheapest way to avoid a disagreement, from erupting into a fight. Yet some people find it hard to apologise because they feel they are not in the wrong. Never underestimate the power of a sincere apology in front of your kids. If you can apologise they would figure why can’t they? but if you find it hard to apologise be sure that they would take after you. Always acknowledge when you are wrong even to your children, and apologise to show your children how to behave. The best place your child can learn how to apologise in order to be equipped with the skills to behave appropriately in public is at home. A home where the word “I’m sorry” small but costly is freely used sincerely.
8. Have fun together
It wouldn’t hurt if you have some fun with your family. By sharing jokes, laughing and being silly. If you are so rigid you find it hard to laugh or make your family members laugh you are passing it on to your kids. For a family to stay closely knitted into one, it has to be a family where having fun together is encouraged. The benefits of laughing is big! It bonds your family, you are making memories with just a laugh, and laughing is good for your health. You are also teaching your kids that a good laugh is okay for a person.
There you go Mamalettes, you might also want to read 10 Things You Should Never Say To Your Kids
Helpful? Mamalettes what other things do you think parents should do in front of their kids? Visit our forum to post your comments.
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