Everyone have a different perspective about marriage. Some pictured it to be a bed full of roses with your knight in shining armour planting soft kisses on you first thing in the morning and kissing your feet, while some pictured it to be all SSS (sweet, sweet and smooth). But pardon me to wake you up from your slumber because you are likely to be having a dream. I don’t mean marriage is not a sweet, sweet and smooth institution but maybe it’s more of a sweet, sour and smooth relationship to be realistic to one’s self.
I mean the last thing I want from my husband in the morning is a kiss…his morning breath can kill 10 mosquitoes at a time. So have always wonder how in Hollywood, they kiss passionately first thing in the morning. I was feeling romantic one day and I tried that with my husband, let’s just say it’s was an eye opener that would most likely never happen again in my lifetime. I have learnt a lot about myself through my marriage, I give credit to myself and my spouse for our abilities to be open to change and growth. Together, we have slowly evolved into the people we are today through the trials and challenges that make a marriage. The most important things I’ve learned are these:
First Years Are The Hardest-
Have you ever wondered what could go wrong between newlyweds within a space of one year? Those early years when you begin to mesh your personalities and lifestyle and you find out the rudest shock about your partner. That the person you’re married to sniffs their underwear? yea that. You learn to dance around the things that aren’t a big deal and stand your ground for the things that are. Then, one day, you wake up and realise you know each other so well, you don’t even have to say anything. But sometimes you do because they still sniff their underwear when no one is looking.
No Make-Up? Nobody Cares-
It is a pretty thing to wear make-up and be all glammed up but you are so busy and stressed that you don’t remember to wear make-up anymore and when you get to do it occasionally, it feels like an accomplishment that needs to be written on a list and tick off when achieved. The fact is on those rare days when you wear make-up, you will be looking different to your kids like they’ve seen a stranger.
Kids Are Exhausting-
Kids are wonderful creatures that are dependent on you for almost everything. They suck your time, energy, emotional capacity and you won’t do anything but live for them like you do not exist. You will think about them 24/7 even when they are not around. You both have to remember to remember each other so you don’t forget. If not, you might find that in 20 years you’ve not only drifted apart but have become strangers.
Communication Gets stronger-
Sometimes this means being louder, because in a house full of toddlers, you might need to raise your voice to be heard. The more you work together, the more you learn to communicate. The more you argue, the more you learn to communicate. Eventually, you find yourself arguing less and less and understanding each other more and more because every argument is not a disagreement and every disagreement is not an argument.
Cherish The Time Spent Together-
You don’t have to like the same things or have the same hobbies, it’s fine. As a matter of fact, that makes it more boring. Having different hobbies makes it interesting. Take the kids to the grandma and steal that moment to spend quality time together, it could be a quick lunch at a restaurant or a movie at home with popcorn before the kids return from school and when they return, act like you’ve missed them dearly.
You Are A Different Person Now-
And that is a good thing. Marriage is an institution as they say, living with someone for almost a decade and you’ve both taken on some aspects of your partner’s ideas, opinions, and methods. You’ve adopted new ways of thinking into your life and better ways of communicating. If we never evolved as a person during our marriage, we would be missing out on the many things we can teach our children about working together and growing individually.
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