Am I the only one that feels this way? Every time our child crosses a milestone, fear grips my heart, I want my child to grow up, yet I want her to keep being my little girl so she won’t have to be exposed to the difficulties that adulthood brings, I feel the need to stop her from seeing this corrupt world from an adult’s eye, I want her to keep this innocence forever, this confidence she has that life hasn’t soiled with disappointment, yet I know I can’t stop growth from coming.
My daughter is still a toddler but soon she’ll start attending preschool (baby class) and from there, primary school and later she’ll move further into university, work and retirement and hopefully I will go before her, so she’ll be able to pour sand on my grave at my funeral, that’s the way the world revolves and there’s no way to stop all these from happening.
But truth be told, I feel this selfish need to stop my sweet, innocent daughter from witnessing the evils of the world, to keep that radiance, wild and untamed excitement bubbling in her for long, yet this I can’t do as a father.
Because once you enter this system of life you can’t get off all the troubles until the end when your life comes to an end. But there’s this protective part of me that wants to keep Cecilia under the care of people that’ll love and protect her.
But soon, soon my daughter will be introduced into the world, the real world, and then the constant worry begins. The call to the daycare “don’t allow any stranger come and pick up the kids o, there’s news that kidnappers are everywhere” and the fear of sexual abuse and lots more will be lodged in my heart.
So when my daughter crosses a milestone (eat swallow, start making friends, start primary school, graduation etc) and you see my wife and I crying, it’s tears of joy, that, it is, but it’s also us bitterly saying goodbye to sweet innocence and welcoming adulthood.
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