Hear ! O Hear! Mamalettes! The debate on whether or not it’s a good idea for the wife and/or husband to have access to and be checking their spouse’s phone has been going on for a while.
While some Mamalettes agree that doing that helps thwart any sort of plans that might go against a relationship, others argue that it’s not healthy for a relationship.
But this is what a Mamalette has to say;
“Hello, Mamas and Papas. I’m an avid reader and member of this forum and also might be someone you know but for discretion sake I would post as anonymous. I can categorically say that the most talked about topic in this forum is marriage, pregnancy, parenting, trying to conceive ( all in that order). Fortunately, I fall in all categories and I would like to point out a common example that makes me smile when posted, “I was reading my husband/ wife’s chat “
There are always arguments going on that, why should a woman or man check her partner’s phone? The truth is there are no basic rules and I might sound a little biased but reading phone chats is something I do uncontrollably (bad habits that fetch good result) in the early days of dating I didn’t check hubby’s phone because I didn’t have a reason to (there was nothing at stake). From the moment we decided to be married it was my duty to be territorial and keep my territory safe.”
“If I can be attracted to my man, why wouldn’t any other reasonable woman be? And even though I trust him, I have to keep him in check, after all, he is my baby. My husband calls me an alarmist because before a conversation goes rouge I have lit the foundation on fire and if fire doesn’t work a tsunami of prayer follows. Don’t get me wrong; I do trust my husband and he trusts me too but mistakes are being made and temptations flying around 98% of times he his not the one looking for a company it’s the slutty devils out there but when I check I know when to spice up my game, threaten or pray.
Many times we the wives get too comfortable looking away leaving our husbands the luxury to lust away. It’s not easy to be 100% even as women. Our partners lack in some things and so we also expect them to be reasonable enough and loyal enough to be faithful.”
And for what reasons does she do FBI job you ask? “I keep my man in check when he’s lusting away for reasons that are my fault or just him exploring his fantasies. I can categorically say my husband has never cheated on me and will never do ( Insha Allah) and I’m sure he trusts me too.”
She went ahead to advice that “You need to build a reason to hold on. There are times in a marriage when you just want to let go but trust me ” that reason to hold on” is the messiah you need. You also need to be valuable to your partner, don’t just be that person they come home to. Be a part of your partner’s growth. The rate at which I check my hubby’s phone reduces with the rate at which I do not find anything to scream about. When I find out things, he wonders how because I won’t be quick to react ( very difficult and not always) because many times we read wrongly and you want to keep your FBI tactics on point. Because he doesn’t know how I know many things, he doesn’t know how to hide those things if there’s anything to hide.”
“Whatever you find, be rational, objective and sensible about your reaction. Under no circumstance should you call the other party, you become weak and a laughing stock. You also give the other party a sense of reasoning that you are afraid. There are millions of ways to find out what is going on without putting a call through.”
“The bottom line is; checking conversations can go a long way saving your marriage and destroy your marriage, but you have to use it for the good deed.
When you find out he is cheating with proof, do not hesitate to confront him/her, talk about it, know the reason (it’s key), resolve it and get tested. If it repeats itself (with the same or different person), involve an elder and make your stand known (don’t bluff).” She concluded.
Mamalettes let’s hear your view! Is checking your spouse’s phone a good idea? Post your comments below.
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