The process of using a surrogate mother to have a baby is tricky and so many argue that it’s not right. Surrogacy is an option for a woman who can’t carry a baby in her womb for a number of medical reasons, which means another woman will carry the baby in her womb for you, give birth to the baby and give it to you.
What Is a Surrogate Mother?
There are two kinds of surrogate mother, the traditional surrogate and gestational surrogate.
Traditional surrogate: The woman gets artificially inseminated with the father’s sperm (or a donor’s sperm). Then she carries the baby and deliver it for you and your husband to raise. A traditional surrogate is the baby’s biological mother because it was her eggs that was fertilized by the father’s sperm.
Gestational surrogate: Through in-vitro fertilization (IVF), eggs will be gathered from the mother, fertilized with the father’s sperm, and then place the embryo into the uterus of a woman (gestational surrogate). She then carries the baby until birth, a gestational surrogate has no genetic ties to the child at all since it wasn’t her egg that was used. Although she’ll still be called the birth mother, the mother whose egg was fertilized is the biological mother. This is less legally complex, and the gestational surrogate can’t be of any trouble in the future.
Who can use Surrogates?
You may consider surrogacy for a number of reasons;
- You have medical problems with your uterus
- You had a hysterectomy that removed your uterus
- You have a condition that make pregnancy impossible or risky for you, such as severe heart disease.
- If you have tried getting pregnant with a variety of assisted-reproduction techniques, such as IVF.
Surrogates have also made parenthood an option for people who might not be able to adopt a child, perhaps because of their age or marital status.
How to Find a Surrogate
There are several ways you can find a surrogate mother:
Friends or family: You can ask a close relative or friend to be a surrogate for you. It’s better you choose someone you can trust because of the high controversy and legal issues that sometimes surround surrogacy. Although incest is unacceptable (like the father is related to the surrogate).
A surrogate agency: We don’t have a legal one here in Nigeria (there are local, illegal ones though) but if you are abroad, you’d find surrogate agency, they’d help you find a surrogate and make arrangements. It also collects any fees that get passed between you and the surrogate, such as paying for her medical expenses.
How to Choose a Surrogate
There are no rules and regulations for this although choose a surrogate who:
- Is at least 21 years old
- Has already given birth to at least one healthy baby so she understands everything about labour, birth and will be ready to part with the baby after birth.
- Is ready to sign a contract as regards her role as a birth mother to the baby and would therefore willingly give the baby to you.
Using a Surrogate
Before using a surrogate, get her a medical examination to check if she’s likely to have a healthy and full-term pregnancy. Other tests for infectious diseases such as syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, HIV, cytomegalovirus, and hepatitis B and C could be condutced too. Also, get a doctor to map her uterus so as to know if she can carry pregnancy to term, she should have her own doctor during pregnancy too, besides your own.
The cost of surrogacy can be high.
Meanwhile, parental rights aren’t guaranteed after a surrogate pregnancy which is why before the woman gets pregnant, get an attorney who will draw up a contract protecting you and the child you are about to have through a surrogate which will spell out what everyone needs to do, so that there’s be no surprise from the surrogate mother. Meanwhile, I’d strongly advice you go for gestational surrogacy if you’re using a family member or friend who knows you.
Image via livestrong.com
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