When you ask a lot of people what intimacy is, the answer you get is sex.
And so many people assume that the talk of intimacy automatically refers to sex, but in truth there are many different forms of intimacy and all of them are ingredients in a happy, healthy relationship.
Intimacy is much broader than sex. It is a deep sense of knowing, understanding and belonging that is far more important, harder to achieve and longer lasting than having sex. It has more to do with who and what you are than sexual ability. You can have sex without intimacy, even with your husband.
When you and your husband connects in ways that goes beyond sex, then just like friends you will never be bored with each other, since you’ll keep connecting, exploring, knowing and loving each other the more.
Consider the following forms of intimacy and incorporate them into your relationship:
1. Physical Intimacy
Physical intimacy is different from sexual intimacy in that it focuses more on the affectionate elements of touching. Touching communicates to your spouse how much they are loved. Good examples of physical intimacy include kissing, embracing each other warmly, cuddling in bed, and snuggling up on the sofa, holding each other.Physical intimacy helps many couples derive a real sense of safety and comfort, and if physical intimacy is denied, feelings of loneliness or isolation may set in. If your relationship lacks physical intimacy, then you and your spouse should talk about the cause, some people have a problem with showing their emotions while others don’t even know how to show it.
2. Intellectual Intimacy
Intellectual intimacy is a type of closeness that’s in play whenever you and your oga talk about work, current affairs or ideas that you think and care about. Intellectual intimacy facilitates mutual understanding, so when you and your spouse talk about the latest development, news and ideas, all of these involve discussion without fear of repercussion. To help your marriage develop intellectual intimacy, pick up a book and read it together, you can also watch movies together, then you can discuss the characters in the book or movie or about the author. Anything that will facilitate an exchange of words.
3. Emotional Intimacy
This means feeling free to talk about your deepest feelings and fears, even when those feelings are difficult or painful. This type of intimacy facilitates better understanding of each other’s underlying needs and desires. closeness created through sharing our feelings, thoughts and desires. It’s this kind of relationship that build trust, your spouse will be able to trust you deeply since you talk about everything while leaving nothing out. You need to be your spouse’s very good friend. To build this intimacy in your relationship, you might (for example) try making a conscious effort to spend an hour at the weekend just sharing the five most significant emotional experiences you had during the week. Also you can develop the habit of talking about how your day was, at the end of the day with your husband while on bed.
4. Spiritual Intimacy
This involves shared religious beliefs and observed religious practices. This can be as simple as praying together, (even though that’s not always easy) going to church or mosque together, or discussing spiritual issues as a couple. Most couples have belief systems and some sort of spiritual observance. It’s important to know what yours is and what your partner’s is. Try praying together at least once a week to improve your spiritual intimacy.
5. Recreational Intimacy
Recreational intimacy involves doing things together, and being active together. Find those things that you like to do and do them with your spouse. You can take a walk together, make dinner, go to a museum, watch a movie, do something with your spouse that allows you actively spend time together. When you have fun together, you are also creating beautiful memories. Try to go for a 30 minutes walk around the block in order to improve your recreational intimacy.
6. Operational intimacy
Anything that involves teamwork builds operational intimacy, from running a household together to engaging in shared projects like learning a new skill, redecorating or exercising together. This is a cornerstone of many relationships, work together in the house, dividing the things that need to be done among yourselves. If attempts at teamwork lead to disagreements, then both parties need to change their attitude to be able to compromise, and attempt to be more flexible.
7. Financial Intimacy
This one can be hard. It involves the sharing of your financial situation. Financial intimacy comes with developing a plan for your finances and being able to have open and honest communication with your spouse regarding money matters. We need to be clear with ourselves and one another what our financial histories are. After which you can make a list on the things you’d be spending money on and how you’d share the burden.
8. Sexual Intimacy
Although most people have a reasonably good grasp of why sex matters in a relationship, you should be able to define what sexual intimacy is. Sexual intimacy is not only about engaging in sex but also maintaining a sexual charge in the relationship. Some of the ways to maintain sexual intimacy beyond the bedroom include flirting and sharing sexual fantasies (for example “how would…look? let’s try it someday”) both of these activities help you to feel excited by your partner, attractive and energized. Even if you don’t end up fulfilling the sexual fantasy, the excitement the thoughts bring is a bit enough. If you incorporate these dimensions of sexual intimacy into your marriage, you might find that your dwindling sexual life can be renewed with a sense of chemistry and playfulness in the relationship.
You deserve to be happy! Keep your love alive by allowing your mate to travel down the path of intimacy with you. It is an awesome journey, and you will be happy with the final destination.
So this is what you have to do, think about how you might be able to better incorporate these forms of intimacy into your relationship, determine what area of intimacy you have succeeded and where you are lacking, and discuss it with your partner. You and your spouse should rank them in the order of their importance and reflect on how (as well as why) your partner’s ranking might differ from your own. Find a way to improve on what levels of intimacy you have been successful in, and work on starting the ones you have not tried.
Helpful? Mamalettes how can intimacy with your partner benefit your marriage? Visit our forum or post your comments below.
Comments
Comments
