We teach our children to be tough but we should try also to make sure we don’t end up breeding aggressive children who may later grow to be insensitive and aggressive adults.
After a particular boy in my child’s school hit my son twice, I decided to withdraw him from the school, the second time was worse than the first and it left him with a scar on the face, God knows what he’ll do if I let it happen the third time.
When the school called me to bring back my son that they’ve sent off the other boy, I went there with my child only to meet the mother of the bully shouting at the teachers at the school gate “like mother like son” I thought. No wonder is son is aggressively, he probably grew up in such environment that shouting and hitting is okay.
Your child shouldn’t be biting, hitting or pulling hair Mamalette! Here are some tips;
What to Do if a Toddler is Aggressive Toward Children
When your child is aggressive to other kids it’s important you step in, attend to the tend to the person they are fighting first. Tell your child that such behaviour hurt their friend and they should never do such again, tell them to apologise to the other child.
Talk to your child to know why they are being aggressive to other kids, they might be frustrated and use aggressive behaviour to vent their frustration. Listen to your child’s reasons and try to acknowledge his words and feelings so that next time he’ll know he can talk to you instead of going aggressive and hitting.
How to Prevent Your Child’s Aggressive Behavior
Giving your child other means of venting out their anger may help curb their aggression, give them things to do so that they can release their energy positively. Allow them to run, dance, jump and play around, you can even give them little chores this doesn’t mean they won’t try to get into mischief when the opportunity arise but when they are having a good time, they rarely would.
If your child is aggressive, I’ll advice you avoid rough play because it can encourage more aggressive behaviour in an already aggressive child. And if your child has a friend that’s aggressive, limit your child’s playtime with such child.
Teaching Your Child to be Gentle
Your child’s way of being playful might be to push too hard (causing the other child to fall), pin his friends down or hug them too tight until they are choking this means he doesn’t know how to be gentle. Thus you have to teach him, if you are always pushing your child when they try to come close to you, hug or snuggle you, your child might be feeling insecure.
Cuddle your child more, give him hugs, rub his back and be tender with him, physically pass across your feeling of love towards him for reassurance. Even if the time your child is asking for attention is not convenient, giving them a minute or two of your time won’t kill you. You are gently teaching your child to be tender by so doing.
How to Discipline Your Aggressive Child
- When your child goes aggressive by hitting or biting their mates, don’t respond by yelling ir beating them back, you are being aggressive that way.
- Model non-aggressive behavior: When you raise your voice when talking to your child or spouse, your child might feel that’s the normal way to vent his anger, frustration or other feelings.
- Use non-aggressive forms of discipline and teach your child that there are other ways of dealing with issues or showing their feelings.
- Praise good behaviour as some children become aggressive so as to get your attention so when your child behaves well, acknowledge it and praise them. A simple compliment like “I like the way you shared your toy with your friend today”
Finally, most aggressive children took after their parents, your children mirror you.
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