Being a parent is not a walk in the park. It takes a lot of commitment and sacrifice from both the father and the mother.

But, being a parent to a teenager even takes much more than that. It involves much more emotional, psychological, financial, physical, spiritual, mental, and so on and so forth, in effort to train up a wholesome child.

The mantra “What is worth doing is worth doing well” certainly does apply to parenting also. If you must be a parent, why not strive to be the best at it.

Training your child is like sowing a seed; sow the good seed, you read a good harvest. But sow the bad seed, you need not be told the outcome you will reap.

The teenage years can be quite challenging for most teens. It’s a time of struggle for independence, puberty and the development of the teen’s identity.

At this time most teenagers can barely handle the pressures posed by their feelings and emotions, and also pressures posed from peers, society, media, etc. However, parenting teens can be very depressing to a lot of parents.

Typically, most parents find it very difficult to connect and communicate effectively with their children at this time; but this is a very crucial time in a child’s life and the child must never be left alone.

Try these five important tips out and see how much easier raising your teen can be.

1. COMMUNICATION IS EVERYTHING

Whether your teen child is quiet or not, he or she sometimes desires to have or keep a confidant. They are under pressure with their rioting emotions; they seek advice and when that parent figure is not available they run off to their friends.

It is great that as a parent you are responsible enough to provide all that your child needs and wants, but that is not good enough.

You must be fully involved in your teen’s life. How well do you know your child? What’s his/her temperament? What’s their likes and dislikes? Who are their friends? Not just knowing their friends, get to know their friend’s parents too.

Pay attention to their diet and nutrition. What’s his/her natural talent? Be part of your child’s educational wellbeing. More than anything your teen needs your affirmations and appreciation.

Say ‘I love you and Am sorry’ a lot. It helps to boast their self esteem. Talk about sex, their feelings, etc. Talk about everything and anything with them, it means a lot.

2. LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN

Its great to communicate regularly with your teens, however, there is need to listen to them too. If you are lucky to have your teen want to confide in you, please give a listening ear. When you listen more than you talk, you will be able to advice them better.

3. BE REAL TO THEM

This tip is daisy but very important. We live in the 21st century, where everywhere we look we see a million things telling us about sex, drugs, violence, etc.

For instance, a teen sent me a mail and said “my parents must think am an idiot to just tell me not to have sex and remain a virgin until marriage because they both married as virgins”.

She continued and said “their time was archaic, they are old school. Who cares about being or marrying a virgin anymore”.

Sincerely parents, this generation of youth think differently than in your time, the 70′s, 80′s and 90′s. So, if you want to advice them against any social vices, make sure you tell the real consequences of that action.

I mean real for real because they will Google it just after your discussion. Every action has a repercussion, whether good or bad; so speak from that point and not what was obtainable in your time.

4. BE WELL INFORMED

I’ve heard tons of parents say ‘Am just lazy to keep up with latest trends and technology’. Believe me you will soon loose your teen, if you haven’t even lost him/her already.

Please read a lot, research more and discuss with your kids from an authoritative point of view. Even if you can’t read or too busy to read, you could ask your kids to help you be in the know of latest findings and breaking news.

It’s also a good way of engaging them. Try to find out new slangs, sign languages, etc. Just be a youth at heart.

5. DO NOT BE JUDGEMENTAL

Dear parents, the fastest way to loose your teen’s trust and confidentiality is to beat down every opinion and event around them. Be very firm, but be open minded as well.

Before you voice your opinion about anything, please make sure you understand the scenario very well, especially on their choice of fashion, friends, what they watch, and so on.

Note please, never accept anything that is against your belief, values, and peace of mind. However, do not be overly opinionated always.

Go and try out these few tips at home and be optimistic about the positive changes it will effect in your relationship with your teenager. Call me to thank me later.

Peace.

Chichi Umeseaka (Mrs.)

About the Author

Chichi Umeseaka is a Social Entrepreneur,Teen Coach,Youth Motivational Speaker on Secular & Religious platforms, Schools, Youth Forums and founder of 9ineteen Works.