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You wouldn't know how important emotional skills are to children until you really talk to them about their social life in school, church, or even in the home environment.
When my 4 years old niece, asked me to buy her some hair adornments, I was surprised, why would you want that? I asked and I got my response, "every of my friends in school are using it, I want too". This shows how much she wants to be accepted into the circle of friends, so equipping your children with the emotional skill they need will serve them well, not just now but also in the future. Equip your child with these emotional skills
1. Self-Reliance
Most moms are usually overprotective of their children so they might find it hard to do this. Yet teaching self reliance is one of the most useful things you can teach your child. Another word for self reliance is independence, you are not going to be there forever to protect your child, so it's better to start teaching them to rely on himself and now is the best time to do that.
You need to be sure your child is ready, giving your child independence when he is not ready to handle it is a wrong way to do it. And we are not talking about age here, we are talking about how he handles challenges that comes his way. Self-reliance can start with the simple act of feeding. Let your child feed himself, this can be a bit messy, but mothers who have tried it attested that their child was self feeding much better than their other age mates.
And when your child can rely on himself, life becomes more fun for him from the start because he has been empowered to do things on his own. Allow him make mistakes, do not always protect him from failure, if he doesn't fail, he wouldn't learn from his failure to be better. Failure is part of the learning process.
2. Patience
Patience is another emotional skill that your child needs to possess. Children has to be taught patience because children who lack patience tend to give up easily even before they see the end of a task.
To teach your child patience, you need to delay gratification. For busy parents, this can be hard, since they prefer to spend the little time they have with a happy child, not an angry one. So they would be tempted to just give in to the child's every wants so that the little time they spend together may not be wasted on denied requests. But let your child know that when he's patient, and able to wait for things he wants, then a better reward will come to him compared to those who are impatient.
3. Self-Control
Young children are often ruled by their emotions. They become overwhelmed by their emotions even when they are angry, sad or even happy(some kids scream when they are happy). Ever seen a small child, running and screaming? While the mother give chase to avoid falling down, since his footing is not balanced yet? That's kids for you they are overwhelmed by their emotions, but no matter how young a child is, he needs to be taught the value of restraint.
It is when a child has self control that he would be able to deal with negative emotions and feelings (mood swing) without behaving wrongly or becoming depressed in social situations where they find themselves. Sure, there’s nothing wrong in kids being kids, showing their emotions by being happy, sad, depressed and being excited but they need to know there's a way to act and talk. And they have to be taught. Children who are not taught how to react to situations are the types that will get violent and lash out when they are annoyed by their mates.
4. Building relationships
So many people makes friends, but very few keep them. This is because very few people know how to maintain and build good relationships. And being able to make friends and keep them is a social skill that has its own reward. You can teach your child the importance of friendship by pointing out examples in movies, books or the holy book. From time to time, when you are talking, chip in the qualities of good friendship which are loyalty, trust, and being reliable. You might feel they don't need it yet, but your child will thank you for it later in life, when he's still friends with his primary school mates years after.
5. Responsibility
Children find it hard to admit to being wrong or making a mistake and so rather than for them to admit, they would lie or deny it. Meanwhile responsibility and self reliance are linked together. If your child is responsible he will admit to his mistakes when necessary and take rectify things that went wrong as a result of his actions. The best way to teach responsibility is to be a mirror, your child is looking at you, so take responsibility for your actions. If you make mistakes, admit it, "Mommy is really sorry, I shouldn't have left you all alone at home, it's my fault". When you as an adult admits to your faults, it will cost your child nothing to do it.
From the age of three and above, when your child can talk, walk and pick things by himself start teaching him these things, no beating, take your time. There's so much to teach them all they need to know, if you teach them the right thing at the wrong time, you might end up pushing them too hard, and what would you get? A shove, they'll shove right back at you.
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