While no one hoped or pray for their marriage to fall apart, it’s sad when it does, it affects the parents, but the children are much more affected. Whilst children are the reason most women choose to suffer in marriage rather than subject their children to the emotional and mental stress that might envelop their children after the divorce.
Children are affected by divorce in different ways depending on their age, level of dependency on their parents, stages in life and characteristics. If your child is still small, he might become confused, stressed, clingy, needy, and exceptionally tearful.
Whatever traits your child develops, you need to help them cope with these 6 tips;
1. Talk it out with your kid
Your child might aact that he doesn’t really care but in truth he might be feeling hurt, so he needs ypou now more than ever. Ask him how he feels, envourage him to talk. By talking to your child, you’ll know exactly what’s going on in their mind and give them a better pictre of what is happening and why it had to. This way your chid doesn’t have to bottle up his emotions.
2. Spend time with your kid
At this time, you need to be closer to your child, play, cuddle or just read to him. If you have a young child, it will do no harm to have them sleep with you at this time. It will help them feel more secure, go out together more often, school events should be attended and go shopping. The message is, things have changed but some things will still be constant.
3. Establish a strong support network
Your child needs a strong support around him, people close to him who he might talk to should be aware of the situation, these include his grandparensts, teachers, friends, and any other role model. Also get your child a role model who is the same gender as him/her. The importance of support is, your child might blame you for the divorce, and might not be ready to talk to you, but he’ll talk to those other people.
The importance of support is, your child might blame you for the divorce, and might not be ready to talk to you, but he’ll talk to those other people he trust.
4. Consistency is key
Maintain the same routine you had before the break up, do not spoil him in your bid to compensate for his dad’s absence. This will tell your child that life goes on and teach them to be strong. And remember to spend some parent-child time with them to know what’s happening in school. their friends and who they like…. Tell them how your week/day went too.
5. Reassurance
Your child will realise through your divorce that it’s possible to stop wanting or loving someone and might be scared you’ll stop loving him too. Therefore you have to assure him, that you love him, and will never stop loving him. Remember to tell him that his father loves him too, this will make them feel loved and clear away any doubt they might be having.
Take each day as they come, and do not go over the edge for the sake of your children.
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