I’m really scared of telling anyone apart from my husband I’m pregnant again. I have been trying to conceive for a while now, I got married  to my husband 6 years ago,  few months after our wedding, if I should fall sick a little, everyone starts to think I’m pregnant. I was hoping to get pregnant  too immediately after our wedding but since we are putting in effort and it’s not yielding results, we decided we will wait till God’s time. After our first year anniversary, friends and family start asking questions of what is keeping us, we just give them one excuse or the other and it went on like that for 2 more years.

I was fed up and tired from all the slide comments from my husband’s relative asking what is the problem is and what’s is keeping us from giving them grandchildren, we told them of all the medical test we’ve carried out and the result showed that we are both fine and it’s only a matter of time before we become parents. They promised to be patience with us and join us in prayers. God answered our prayers after our third year of marriage, we were so happy when we confirmed it, we could not contain our joy that we could not help but share the news with everyone that matters to us. Everyone was happy for us.

A week to the end of my first trimester, I woke up feeling fluids in between my thighs, I jolted out of bed to see blood all over my night wear, we rushed to the hospital  and after I was examined, our worst fear was confirmed. I had lost the baby. I was really devastated. That brought us back to the way we were before but this time, it’s even worse.  We were gloomy and sad but we believed in God that it happened for a reason.  We were steadfast with our prayers and kept a positive spirit.  8months after that incident, we were expecting again, we decided that we are going to keep it to ourselves this time or if at all, inform just our both parents. We informed them and they were happy all over again like they were the first time but we made them promise not to tell anyone this time until I’m showing.

I was one of the lucky ones, I tried not to do anything stressful just to avoid any situation that can lead to the first incident.  I was shocked when I started receiving calls from friends and family asking how I’m fairing with the pregnancy. These are people we never told anything and we just knew either of our parents cannot keep a secret.  I felt they might have jinxed it for us again and I was right, I was in the kitchen cooking a week after when I felt streams of blood running down my thighs. I screamed for my husband and he ran to my side. I was crying profusely even before we got to the hospital and the doctor confirmed it.  Our parents claimed it was just one person they told and the one person they told went and the one person told another person and the whole families have heard.

During our fifth year anniversary, we pray to God for him to answer our prayers and he did, myself and my husband decided not to tell anyone anything about us anymore when God answers again and he did hear our cry and answered us.  I have been 4 months pregnant now, this is the longest I have gone compared to my first two pregnancies. I’m not showing yet and I’m tempted to tell anyone I’m pregnant again. My husband insisted we are not informing anyone, that it is my stomach that will inform them. How long do I keep on avoiding family gatherings pending the time I’m obviously showing. I don’t want to lose my baby again too.