I met a primary school mate last week, we were in the same class from primary 1 to 5 so you can imagine my surprise and excitement when I met him. I had not seen him since secondary school, although we did not go to the same secondary school, we always saw during our holidays because we attended the same church.
He traveled to UK to finish up his education after secondary school and so I had not seen him in so long. Even though it was the wedding of our mutual friend from church, I did not expect to meet him there.
Anyways when we were gisting I said to him,” what of the Iyawo na, when are you going to marry, you don't know you are getting old abi”. He just laughed and said, “well I am engaged to be married next year”.
As a gbeborun na, I asked to see her picture, he was like don't worry she would be here in a bit. I still asked for her picture and he showed me. When I saw her picture ehn, this woman is very beautiful but she definitely did not look like our age mate.
I was stuck on her picture for a while and in my mind I was like maybe it’s just the picture, she probably wasn’t that old.
About an hour later, this woman arrived at the party and I am telling you she looked even older than the picture I saw of her. If you see the two of them together, they were so lovey dovey, within minutes I forgot about the fact that the woman was obviously older than my friend. She was so sweet and friendly, it was easy to get lost and gist with her.
In my Nigerian mind, I had judged their love the moment I saw her but seeing them together was another thing entirely. I heard from our mutual friend that the woman was a 40 year old widow (my friend is 30 years old) with one child and had been single for a while before meeting my friend 2 years ago.
I honestly couldn’t judge them after seeing them together(his mother is a very judgmental person who saw a fault in everyone except her children so just imagining her reaction was enough for me). Within hours of meeting her I already liked her a lot, so how could I judge them.
Whereas there are a lot of men that marry older women all over the world, Even here in Nigeria, Peter Okoye’s wife Lola is older than him with 6 years and they have been together for about 12 years.
Dare Art Alade’s wife is older than him with 8 years and they have been married for years with children.
Even the current French President’s wife is older than him with 24 years and was his high school teacher, although I think that is extreme.
Why is it that it is more of a taboo for an Older woman to marry a younger but when it’s an older man and younger woman it is more acceptable. Infact if an older man marries a much younger girl in Nigeria, the girl is tagged a golddigger.