He didn't even tell me where he was

Please I need advice. I met this married man (older to me by 17 years) at work. It was nearly 3 years before. He had told me that he is happily married and we both flirted with each other initially. It started with a fling and we developed love for each other. It reached to a stage where he even gave me a ring saying that he will be loyal to me. During these 3 years he went on holidays and dates with his wife. He never told me. I discovered it eventually. I use to get hurt. I dated other guys as well during this period because I knew somewhere he will never be mine (though he use to say he wants me forever and please be mine and all that). I was also not getting the right guy to move on. I pursued many activities but that also didn't help. Recently I decided to dump him and requested him to be a friend. He was again going on holidays with this family and on asking casually he never told me where he was going. It hurt me a lot. He called me from his holidays to say that he loves me and when I asked him about his destination; he never answered and hang up on my face - saying that I have dumped him and that he don't want argument. I have just now discovered that he is celebrating his 25 anniversary and I even know where he is. He has stopped calling or messaging from his holidays. I also discovered that he gave the exact same gifts to his wife what he gave me. I am mad and hurt and cannot stop my tears. I don't know how to come out of this situation. I know he is using me but I don't want to be used. He tells me he loves me and cares for me. I believe that I give in and then he says he cannot be mine. He says his wife is old and wrinkly and comes to me but when he is with me he never commits. I have dumped him and hopefully I will continue this time. But it is hurtful when I discover all this happenings of his life. And I am hurt that he can't even tell me where he is. I want to move on desperately. I just don't want to cry and want to be loved. Please advise me