Who Is Your Favorite Among Your Children?
I know how as parent we don’t ever like to admit we like one child over the other to avoid enmity and we are all always quick to say “I love my kids equally” but we all know deep down inside, there is one among our kids that we have this soft spot for and no matter how hard we always try not to show it, it shows unconsciously. As most parents know, we may love our kids equally but we don’t always like them the same. Some kids, at a particular time, can be difficult to get along with, and more significantly impossible to relate to.
Some children have personality types that you relate to more easily. Gender also plays a significant part when it comes to playing favorites. Some fathers are extremely hard on their sons, yet their daughters can have them wrapped around their little fingers. That’s the way of families.
For me, it is with my latest baby and I think most moms can agree with me on this one. When I first had my first baby, he was the apple of our eyes being our first baby, he had all the attention and we showered him with all the love in the world. I always address him as “okomi”(my husband) and my husband is always quick to remind me he’s is the owner of that status. My baby enjoyed all the attention that it was shocking to him when his brother came and he saw him as a rival. As a mother, it’s only natural I’m protective of him as a little baby but my husband was reading too much meaning to it that I act like I love the new baby more than the elder brother. But I’m always quick to remind him that, as a toddler, the elder brother does not understand what he means yet to handle a baby.
He plays with him like he’s playing with his age group so that always makes me be on the alert whenever he’s going close to his brother and it was seen as I’m being overly-protective, or I play favouritism around them but I know that if in the cause of playing with his younger brother, he rough-handled him and leaves him injured, I will still be blamed for not looking after them, so I won’t mind being called the “mother hen” over his chicks like my husband chose to be calling me now. When he’s older and strong enough to play rough like his brother, I will let down my guide and be less agitated over him but till then.
For me and I think this applies to every mom out there, we always have this soft feeling with our last born’s, the attention shifts from the former one to the present one. That is one thing men don’t understand. My house is now like the divided house, everybody has a team. My husband is always chummy with the older boy because he can walk, so they go everywhere together, sew aso ebi and take father and son photos unlike the 6 months old baby that can’t talk yet, that is still breastfeeding, that can’t walk yet. They are always in each other’s company and they will always alienate me and my little baby. And my son is always jealous when I call the younger brother “okomi”.
He must have thought it’s exclusively for him, so what should my husband do in that case. Whenever I notice he’s angry that I call his brother that, I will quick call him that to just to let peace reign. They even call him mom’s boy or mommy’s pet. To me, I don’t see any division, when he’s off age like his brother, I will let loose of my guide and that is when I can truthfully say to myself if I like one more than the other or not. I still strongly disagree that is what I’m doing now, I’m only protecting my baby from being hurt.