We Are TTC, Not Barren
Thank God for churches who have eradicated the practice of calling women who are trying to conceive "barren" but have chosen the "blessed women" term instead and "looking for the fruit of the womb" but some people are still insensitive to other people's feelings. I read a recent post where a Mamalette said someone called her "barren" I then recall my own experience with people especially women who ought to know better.
Women who ought to know that no woman chooses to be without children but it is not man's decision but of God. Another woman said "Yesterday my colleague, said to me " you too, are you still having periods when people are pregnant" I was broken." And this are the kinds of things TTC women hear every day. It's not enough that we have to battle infertility and insensitive people, we are often advised to keep calm and stress less, but how can a human keep calm when the things happening around her makes her sad and she finds no joy?
This is why most women choose not to disclose their fertility status because people will reproach them with it when a friend of mine saw me recently and asked "where are your kids" I replied "they are schooling abroad" I lied but I couldn't help it. This is a woman that I knew as a "newscaster" from school, she'll probably add me up on Facebook and start tormenting my life with picture and annoying words, to her everything is a competition and I can't allow myself to be disturbed at this point in my life, so yes, I lied and I don't feel bad that I did.
Often times, if women in fertility hospital see people they know they'll dodge or cover their face with a magazine instead of saying "Hi'' and why's that? Because they don't want to give anyone power over them, they don't want someone to start questioning and pitying them like they have the plague, infertility is not a disease, it's a passing phase.
Thank God for Mamalette! Somewhere we can all come, ask for prayers, receive support that'll help us in this lonely journey yet we still have to advise each other, if any one of you is guilty of calling any woman barren desist! Assist and support your fellow woman, don't add to her sadness.
So when you see a woman in a fertility clinic don't ask questions if she's getting a egg donor or a sperm donor, she's facing her own wilderness and she'll scale through by God's grace, face your own! Because we all have wilderness, it's just not the same for everyone.
Let's nestle all women going through the wilderness of infertility in our haven, let's offer words of comfort, God bless all TTC women with the fruit of the womb, turn their reproach to blessing, and may God heal the marriage of every Mamalette.