How Not To React To Twins
Twins! Twins! Twins! Are they not lovely to behold? Having a twin pop out of you is not a mean feat. Some desired, expected and they got it; others never had any inkling that twin babies would come knocking on their doors.
I know a particular couple who never considered having a twin. Shortly after their wedding, the wife took in and as they went for the regular scan, they discover it was a twin. She was dazed while the husband struggled to find words to express himself. It was to them a pleasant surprise!
When you see a set of twins, what do you say to them or their mum? What you say matters because it affects the mind of the twins mum or the kids. Some people say words that may be termed unkind and insensitive while others speak kindly. I want you to step back and think through utterances you have made about twins, to the twins or their mum. Then read on to see how to or not to react to twins and their mother.
Thank God, I do not have twins!
Many mums of twins do not have it easy caring for their twins but that does not make the twins a burden. Twins are not evil even if it is demanding to care for them. Avoid saying such words but rather encourage the parents with words such as “God will continue to strengthen you”, “You are doing great”
Did they come naturally?
Yes, we live in the day where In vitro fertilization (IVF) is popular and the chances of having a twin is guaranteed due to the intake of fertility drugs. Yet even with this knowledge, you do not have any business asking if the babies were conceived naturally. A twin is a twin! IVF or natural it does not matter.
Your tummy must have been big!
Uhmm, your curiosity may cause you issues here. You have to tread carefully. If the person is familiar, this question may mean no harm but for a stranger do steer clear of asking such questions.
Which of the twin is mischievous or smarter?
Twins children are unique in themselves even if they look alike; they are different individuals all in one. Comparisons are not necessary to let them be.
How do you identify them?
If this question is for a one-off meeting with the twins, then it is not necessary. I am sure if you share the same house with them you would learn to tell them apart without being told anything specific to each one of them.
Other things you should not say are
- “You look small to be having twins!”
- “You look like you would give birth today!”
- “You will not be able to breastfeed!”
- “Yay, after this twins, you should be done with baby making!”
- “You will not have time for so many things…”
- “C-section is sure…”
- “Someone around here lost her twin pregnancy…”
You should say more of
- You look so cute pregnant!
- You must be so excited to meet your baby!
- I trust that know you will do your best for your babies
- ‘’Your life is going to get brighter!’’
- ‘’What do you crave for? I will get it for you.’’
- ‘’You will have a safe delivery’’
- ‘’What can I help you with so you can rest?’’
- ‘’Are you worried, do not worry everything will be okay!’’
- ‘’You have all it takes to care for your twin babies’’
- ‘’ You are so blessed and lucky’’
As a twin mum, you do not have to take these questions and comments especially the unpleasant ones to heart. Just answer the one you can with a smile, ignore the ones that hurt and move on.
When you see a twin and their mum, be mindful of what you utter, speak kind words and do not ask sensitive and personal questions that do not involve you.
Are you a Mamalette with twins? Tell us those funny and annoying questions people ask you about your twins.