Yes, getting pregnant after a miscarriage can be different, and I’m sure those who have gone through such will understand and be able to relate to this.

For these set of women who have been through miscarriage(s) before, pregnancy isn’t a joyous and hopeful experience, not that they don’t want to be happy, they are just afraid to be too happy.

With a lot of “what ifs” is going on in their mind, the excitement that comes with pregnancy is gone, replaced by fear of the unknown and anxiety. This makes the pregnancy stressful to them because instead of basking in the joy of being pregnant, they are aware of the pain that comes with miscarriage and this overrides the joy.

And that is why in many ways, pregnancy after miscarriage and loss is different. And here are a few of what changes during pregnancy after miscarriage;

1. You are more aware of feelings, movement and environment

Getting pregnant after a miscarriage can leave you in perpetual anxiety. You will be extremely careful and aware of everything you are doing. It’s common for women to blame themselves for the loss of their baby and they would want so much not to make the same mistake they made with the child they lost with this new one. They become extra careful and try to control the things that are beyond their control. Meanwhile, this state of mind can leave them stressed up, which isn’t good for the baby either. Meanwhile, the cause of most miscarriages are chromosomal abnormalities which may prevent the pregnancy from continuing. Although you should also consider anything you did that could have caused the miscarriage and make sure not to repeat it, let go of your fear. It will end in praise.

2. Fear of being too attached to the baby

As a way of protecting themselves in case of another miscarriage, most women who have had a miscarriage disconnect themselves from their baby when they become pregnant again. Also, given that you are still grieving the baby you lost and that may make it hard for you to connect to the one you are carrying now. Later, you might start feeling guilty for not loving this new one enough, and for not connecting. Going for a scan to see how the baby is doing is even worse, for you’ll be stressed out thinking and dreading that something might have happened to this one again. This is a lot of stress on you, take each day as it come and trust that things will be okay. And remind yourself that not connecting to the baby will not make you feel better if something happens to them, rather you’ll feel guilt all over again. It will end in praise.

3. Loneliness 

In your previous pregnancy, you could have joyfully announced to your family and friends about your pregnancy and the sadness of having to “untell” them may make you keep the news of this one to yourself. Then you may find it hard to buy baby things, tell your boss about maternity leave, or tell anyone at all for fear that you might lose the baby again.

Although this is a good decision, it’s wise you tell one or two of your close confidante so that when you need support they’ll offer it, until you can make the news public. Keeping everything to yourself might be a big burden to bear. It will end in praise.

4. Envy Of Other Pregnant Women

If you are not feeling any morning sickness or you are never tired, then you might envy other pregnant women who complain of morning sickness and exhaustion. Your pregnancy is probably fine, it could be that your body recognises the pregnancy hormones and isn’t responding as much as it did with the second pregnancy.

So also, if you didn’t feel too much nausea and exhaustion with the pregnancy that you lost and now you are with the one you are carrying now, everything is probably fine. But to alleviate your fears talk to your doctor. I must add that envying other people who are pregnant doesn’t mean you aren’t happy with your pregnancy, you are probably just comparing pregnancy. It will end in praise.

5. Fear of being happy

You know there’s a probability of loosing your pregnancy again, and that’s the hardest part of getting pregnant after a miscarriage. You are afraid that if you are happy, the smile might suddenly be wiped off your face and so it’s hard to be happy about your new pregnancy. And when they are thinking of the future, they think in terms of “ifs”, “if the baby is born” , “if things work out fine”, they might even avoid buying anything for the child, waiting for when they are “certain” that baby will live and stay. Although this may make you feel in control, that if baby eventually lives, it will be a surprise. But do you know that you are robbing yourself of the precious moments of your pregnancy? When you baby finally arrives you might regret not enjoying every moment of your pregnancy.

You can love the baby that you lost and still love the one you are carrying. There’s enough love to share between them all, so why not open up your heart and let out the love. Taking each day as they come is the key. It will end in praise.