I don’t know if this is the right place to post this but I hope that this post is put out there for other fathers to learn from my story.
3 years ago, tragedy struck on my family as I lost my beautiful wife just after she gave birth to my adorable twin boys. She was barely 23 then when death took her away from me but I would say that I am also to blame for her death. When she had the twins, she kept saying things like she couldn’t do it, she couldn’t handle 2 boys at the same time, that she can never take care of them and she feels nothing for them almost like she wasn’t their mother.
It got so bad to the point that my wife was telling me then that she regretted getting pregnant. I didn’t understand all she was saying then, all I did was pray because I felt she was possessed. She was always angry and never stopped crying. At a point I got angry because it became frustrating. We stopped talking, we couldn’t make love because she wouldn’t even let me touch her then. Her constant sad attitude started driving me out, because I didn’t understand why my wife was always crying.
One time one of the twins rolled off the chair and was crying bitterly and my wife was right beside him but she didn’t hear him cry. I ran down from my room to carry my son and I gave her a dirty slap. Well, to cut the long story short, one fateful day, I came back from work and I met my wife in her own pool of blood. She had stabbed herself to death, she wrote me a letter saying she was sorry but she couldn’t take it anymore that she has gone to find eternal peace.
It was after she died, I got to know that my wife was suffering from postnatal depression. I read so much about it and realized all she needed was psychological help not prayers or me neglecting her. She needed my love, my support and my care.
It’s been 3 years now but it still feels like yesterday that she passed on. I blame myself for her death and I will always carry this guilt. Since today is World Health day and the theme is about creating awareness about depression.
I decided to share my story so that other fathers can learn from it and not make the same mistake.
When your wife gives birth, the child isn’t only hers to take care of but for both of you. Pay attention to your wife, show her love, care and get her professional help if you feel she needs one.
Thank you Mamalette for providing me this platform to share my story for the first time since my wife died.